Coping with Grief
Grief is the emotional distress that occurs after the loss of something important in a person’s life. It most notably occurs when a loved one dies but can also occur when something else that held a place inside a person is lost such as a marriage, job, financial security, friendship, goal, sense of safety after a trauma, or anything else that held a place inside a person. The process of grieving is unique to the suffering individual but there are commonalities.
The grieving process takes time and that amount needed is exclusive to that person. There is no set amount of time it will take for grief to subside. It is not due to the person forgetting what has been lost, rather it is the realization the thing loss has imprinted itself on the person and therefore lives on within them.
Coping with grief is as individualistic as the grief itself. Many share the burden of it with family, friends, religion or other important institutions. Many go it alone or have a combination of sharing and isolation that vary as time progresses. The goal for any process should be a healthy acceptance of loss. A healthy acceptance is the identification of the facts of grief as well as the myths. These myths often manifest as guilt, despair or hopelessness.
The facts of guilt are tied to a past action that cannot be undone. But by utilizing the knowledge of what a person wished they had done differently, they then have a better understanding how to act in the present. A person should not make the mistake again. The myth of guilt is if there is no act to do differently, then the guilt is unwarranted and is just self inflicted punishment.
The fact surrounding despair and hopelessness is that the person still carries value. It might take some time but that deeply grieving person can clear the pain from their mind and move toward a goal. A goal that pays tribute to the person or thing that was lost can reveal a purposeful value. The myth is that nothing can be done and all is lost, which is never the case.
